Take Your Anxiety Out For Coffee
Anxiety is not something to run from. Yet most of us were taught to do exactly that.. I might get in trouble for saying this, but much of the mental health advice we see online, especially when it comes to anxiety, is just another way of silencing it. We’re told to breathe it away, reframe it, focus on anything but the discomfort.
But when I tried that, I realized something: I wasn’t solving the problem. I was just shoving it deeper, hoping it would disappear. And like we talked about last week, anxiety is not the enemy. It’s a messenger.
The real problem isn’t that we have anxiety—because let’s be honest, we all do. The problem is how we try to treat it. Despite what our doomscrolling tells us, anxiety isn’t just a malfunction of the brain. We need it. Anxiety holds wisdom—if we’re willing to listen.
If anxiety has a role—if it’s not meant to be silenced or exiled—then maybe the answer isn’t to fight it, but to befriend it. And how do you treat a friend? You make time for them. You sit with them. You listen. This week, we’re leaning into that idea by practicing a new skill: taking our anxiety out for coffee.
How to take your anxiety out for coffee
Step 1: Set the Table (or Grab a Cup of Coffee)
You don’t have to literally sit at a café (though you can). The point is to create a space where you can be present with your anxiety. Maybe that’s sitting quietly in the morning with a journal, taking a slow walk, or just closing your eyes for a moment and turning inward.
Whatever you choose, the key is intention. You are choosing to meet your anxiety, rather than running from it.
Step 2: Say Hello to Your Anxiety
Instead of immediately trying to change or push away the feeling, acknowledge it. You might say to yourself:
"Hey, I feel anxious right now. I don’t love this feeling, but I’m willing to listen. What’s up?"
It sounds simple, but naming the anxiety without judgment creates a shift. You’re no longer fighting it—you’re inviting it in.
Step 3: Get Curious (Ask It Some Questions)
Like any good conversation, this is about asking questions and actually listening. Anxiety usually has something to say, but it often speaks in riddles, fear, or exaggeration. Here are some questions to explore:
What are you trying to protect me from?
What’s the worst-case scenario you’re afraid of?
Is this an old fear, or is it about something real in the present?
Is there something in my life I’ve been avoiding that needs my attention?
Are you telling me the truth, or are you just trying to keep me in my comfort zone?
Step 4: Separate the Truth from the Stories
Anxiety isn’t always rational. Sometimes it’s warning you about something real, and sometimes it’s spinning worst-case scenarios that aren’t actually happening.
As you sit with it, notice:
Is there a legitimate concern here? If so, what action can I take?
Is my anxiety exaggerating? What’s the most likely outcome, not just the worst one?
Have I been in this situation before? How did it turn out?
Step 5: Decide What to Do Next
Now that you’ve listened, what’s the next step? Do you need to take action on something real? Challenge an irrational fear? Simply let the feeling pass without reacting?
Not every anxious thought needs a response. But by taking the time to listen, you can move forward with clarity rather than avoidance
Try it this week
Instead of pushing anxiety away, Try this practice.. Try setting aside five minutes to check in with your anxiety using the steps above. You might be surprised at what you learn.
And if this feels overwhelming, you don’t have to do it alone. If you need support in navigating your anxiety, reach out—I’d love to help you make sense of it.
